When Our Desire To Help Meets Constraints

By Dr. Holly Holmes-Meredith, D. Min., MFT, Board Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist
and Bill Yarborough, CHT and Certified EFT Practitioner

Tough times can bring out the best in us—and the coronavirus pandemic has triggered many acts of compassion. Forbes magazine reported in March that 76,000 healthcare workers volunteered to help New York hospitals fight the coronavirus. Barron’s magazine reported in June that Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Jeff Bezos, and many other individuals have made donations of $25 million or more to help victims suffering from the Covid-19 pandemic. And local merchants such as Safeway and Trader Joe’s have created senior hours where those with age vulnerabilities can more safely shop.

And others without medical expertise or great wealth have made countless contributions, such as making masks, giving donations to local food banks, delivering groceries to the elderly, and similar acts of kind-heartedness. Recent events have created another focal point where people feel they can help by calling for social change: the Black Lives Matter protests advocating racial justice and police reform has spread across America and the World. The Washington Post reported in June that the Post-Schar School poll indicated 74 percent of Americans support the Black Lives Matter protests.  

While the pandemic may have slowed things down so we can more clearly see those in need around us, it has also robbed us of certain means to take action. Some of our clients and acquaintances, particularly those in more vulnerable populations, have expressed frustrations that they want to help out but feel at a loss of how to do so.

In the past when they would have attended a protest or volunteered time to a food bank, hospital, nursing home or other worthy cause, they are now conflicted between a desire to pitch in and a desire to avoid catching and spreading the coronavirus. Such conflicts can create emotional turmoil. Compounding the stress, some people have suffered job losses, depriving them of the financial ability to make contributions to their chosen charities and causes.

Taking steps to clear negative emotions can make it easier to resolve such inner tension, and the following techniques may help clear your head, allowing you to better see what you can do.

Put your mind onto something else. When weighted down with a problem, exercising, taking a walk, engaging in a hobby, watching a movie, or chatting with a friend can help you to return to a difficult question with a fresh perspective.

Prayer, meditation, and mindfulness. The act of prayer has provided many with answers, meditation is well known for clearing the mind, and mindfulness with its sense of being present in the moment as well as observing thoughts, feelings, and habits, can lead you recognize those things you can do as opposed to those things you cannot control.